Freestyle Rapping?

Yes, you caught me red handed, from time to time I freestyle rap while driving in my car. What is it with driving anyways that elicits such a response? I have never tried freestyle rapping any other time, except for that one time at michaels house with 5 or 6 other people, and that was just a mistake. Other than that though, it's just me and my car, rapping away.

When I picture that scene, as if I was having an out of body experience watching myself drive and rap, it is rather embarassing. The worst part is I am probably wearing a tie half the time.

The whole thing plays out like the first scene of Office Space. And maybe the drum of the engine helps me syncopate. The trees rushing by and the big blue sky above, spitting lines with the best like rhyming words is my only love, ego getting crushed as other cars drive by, when they look in dismay at my shirt and tie, but the beat can't stop as the words still come, I won't quit I won't stop till the song is done.

The Great Pet Debate!

Ok, Sean White posted a story about a particularly capable dog on his blog and used the story as the basis for his claim that "dogs are better than cats". I posted a rebuttal on his page, but thought I would post it here for the thousands of people who read this blog to debate. This is obviously a classic debate and quite an emotional one, especially for people who think that dogs and cats should not be consumed. A stance that I don't particularly agree with, as a marinated dog kebab can be quite a treat. But, that's niether here nor there. The debate at hand is which animal is better, not if pets in general are dumb. I think most people, whether consciously or subconsciously, already know the answer to that. Regardless, here is my rebuttal to Sean's post.

Ok, your argument has a gaping hole. We are dealing with a spectrum here. In my experience, cats fill a much narrower scope on the spectrum. What is the spectrum? It looks something like this:
Stupid ———-*———-*———-*———-Cool
The stars (*) have broken up the spectrum into quartiles. Cats generally occupy a position in one of the two middle quartiles. Some would argue cats can only occupy the quartile closest to “stupid”, but evidence shows this is an argument that is not backed up with statistical proof. The majority of cats are somewhere inbetween stupid and cool. Some err on the stupid side, some err on the cool side. It is very rare however to find a super cool cat or a super stupid cat. Dogs however fall all over the spectrum. Because of this there are many dogs that are way cooler than the average cat. However, there are MANY dogs that are way more stupid and annoying than the average cat.

While I can instantly pull to mind dozens of memories of dogs jumping on my, licking me, barking at me, growling at me, pooping around me etc. etc. I can only recall a few select unpleasant moments with cats. On top of that, cats have the ongoing advantage of being much easier to care for. The only argument I can see you winning is that the coolest dog is much more able minded and able to help than the coolest cat, so much so that their increased abilities make it worth the big responsibility of owning a pet that is much more intensive to care for and clean up after. But that percentage is certainly smaller than the uppermost quartile and probably in the range of less than a percent.

Inglorious Bastards.

Every once in awhile you see a film that makes you laugh at things you really shouldn't be laughing at. Inglorious Bastards is such a film. I'm not commenting on any beliefs or representations or suggestions presented in the film as it does deal with Nazi Germany. That is for each viewer to sort out. I am simply saying, from a technical standpoint and based on my own preferences for a movie, the film is absolutely amazing. Quite probably in my top ten ever. I think most everybody reading this blog has already seen it, but if you haven't, then you should. A fair warning, it is rather graphic and comical at the same time, but somehow it works.

Cornish Game Hen.

Yeah, cornish game hen. An appropriately titled post dont you think? You see, a couple years back I bought a pair of cornish game hens when they were on sale at meijer. But, the game hens were frozen and I never got around to cooking them. I think they somehow ended up at my parents house in their freezer. And I still think about that pair of hens from time to time. How I never cooked them, how good they might taste with a citrus glaze and a side of redskin mash. And this, the cornish game hen, has come to represent my tendency towards procrastination. There, I said it, I procrastinate, which is why I did not write a post about procrastination sooner.

Cornish game hens is just one item on a long list of other procrastinate objects (I know "procrastinate objects" doesn't make sense, but it sounds cool). It's not always the case that I don't do something because I am procrastinating. Sometimes I don't have the time, or money, or good looks to participate. With that in mind, here is a list of things I thought about doing and have never done. Maybe this is my "bucket list", if bucket lists were cooler and not in reference to that average movie.

-Traveled to Europe
-Bought a kegerator (seriously, I need one, no not for parties either, for myself)
-Gone on a survival trip (another one, the first one was great)
-Had a good blog
-Written a story (longer than a page, and worth reading)
-Traveled to the moon on a penguin (just seeing if you are still paying attention)
-Seen Sigur Ros live

Ok, I can't think of anything else. Although that bucket list kind of sucks and could probably be accomplished in one long weekend. I will have to think through this more. Maybe a nice meal of roasted bird would spark my memory, but that will probably never happen.

In All Seriousness...

Ok, I'm a pretty jovial guy. I like to "poke fun" as much as the next Tom, Dick or Jer. But this post is to address a fairly serious matter. And I don't want anybody to think this is just another silly blog post that is a waste of your time.

You see, for years now, I haven't really had a nickname. When folks address me they might say Jeremy, Jerry, Jer, cool guy, Jason (an accidental mix of Jeremy and Mason), Dude, Mister, Guy, Buddy, Sucka, Killa, Busta, Crazy, Ghostface Killa.... You get the idea, it's all over the place and its causing a bit of an identity crisis for an aging hipster such as myself. I need to be firmly rooted in my identity. As Stella would say, "I got to get my groove back". And as easy as that sounds, I can't focus on my "groove" when every lay person around the village is calling me by a different moniker. Ok, let me put this in terms that you can understand. I need a new nickname.

I realized this fact when I was at the local hardware a couple of months ago buying lots of things that tough guys buy. You know, a saw, some nails, a couple planks of pine, some random fiberglass, a couple safety cones and a few mints at the cash register. And then, right as the cash register guy says "see you later Jeremy", Areosmith's hit single Amazing comes on and Steven Tyler sings "It's amazing...with the blink of an eye you finally see the light...when the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright". That's when I had it. My new name will be Jeremazing. It's absolutely perfect. Not only that but I googled it, and found this page on youtube. You might notice that the new URL address contains my new nickname! With that said, I'm sure you see the value in this post and feel that you have not wasted any of your time.
-Jeremazing

I'm drinking coffee.

I titled this post "I'm drinking coffee" because I am and that is wierd. I think it marks some sort of quarter life crisis for me. Like I feel the need to be addicted to something that claims the power to "keep me going". Food is no longer enough, sleep won't cut it, I need something more, something powerful, something expensive! Ok, the coffee was free (thanks Jan), but still, I find myself liking it. Anyways, I find myself stressed lately. And probably some for the obvious reasons, but also a lot for wierd reasons. I find myself being pulled in a lot of different directions and I want them all.

Just this week I started thinking about possibly getting an MBA. Just me typing that sentence is odd. I feel like there is somebody somewhere who just won a million dollars because he made a $1 bet when I was 12 that I would never even entertain the idea. And oddly enough, the idea is really growing on me. It makes sense. A lot of sense. And I can't figure out why. Yet, I love painting and writing music and I feel even now that I can't keep up with it all. All I need now is 2 cottages, 4 boats and 8 coffee makers by the time my mid life crisis hits to make it all official. Some people can handle it all, I can barely keep my lawn mower going. I will have to hire somebody just to buy coffee for me full time.

In reality, I probably just need to be better with my time, keep an organized schedule and start "planning" my time better. But although this post probably comes off as complaining, that is not the intent. I am actually super excited. I have a beautiful wife, a great job, an amazing church, and tons of people that I am around constantly. I find it interesting that Jesus started his ministry in his 30's. Not that being thirty meant the exact same then as it does for us now, but I imagine there are a lot of similarities. I can feel the temptation starting to creep in of wanting to "build" something. That is the time Jesus chose to start a public ministry challenging everybody to destruct their little kingdoms and give up everything for the gospel. Christ's words are continually taking on new meaning and His ministry at age 30 has never made more sense to me.